open mic challenge

[lyrical_soulja]

too any emcee who wanna see me heres an open mic challenge

lyrical soulja here not givin a fuck
come to my block son imma wish u luck
u gotta bring it hard or u aint gonna survive
my flows like a prayer i bring the dead alive
imma b bringin it hard like u aint felt b4
ur best chance is to act dead like a dog on the floor
bitch u think u can keep up but u aint got a chance
u need to keep ur head down b4 i take off wit a lance
its the lyrical soulja from way down south
been doin this for awhile so dont put ur foot in ur mouth
i seen the iraqi guy flow he sucks big dick
fuckin need to go work down at "dog on stick"
i seen the korean boy try to flow rite too
fuckin stop it son u aint repin k- r- n fooo
got the rich boy here spittin about wut he got
too bad wut he talks about is jus wut hes not
yea its rite yalls nikkas i mite not kno u
but this is how i come so im here to show u
the lee family chi comes strong within me
so yalls other emcees best do ur best to keep up wit a real OG

and its a WRAP...cut and print

take it how it is and bring it twice as hard...

[kor3anboi206]

i'll rain shots and sprinkle asian
until his skin resembles a wrinkled raisin
cuz you said you're gonna rock shit
pick me off my block quick
if you can't let a glock spit
what you gonna use? some chopsticks
your mom is a human airplane
and her mouth is a c0ckpit
With a very deep throat
she can suck on my ski slope
until her tonsils break
from all the cum she takes
until her mouth and stomach ache
observe how these words formulate
at an enormous rate
I'll throttle you with a wine bottle until the cork pops
Slam your face in the gravel and make you snort rocks
or pull out my glock and let you feel the force
put 18 holes in your body and rename your ass a golf course

don't fuck with AsianEmcee2

[Mrs Davison from Cisco]

Yo, uh! Yeah

yo check, you say your a rapper, you're more like a turntable
you get mixed up more times than a CAT-5 Cable
Cuz your like 'dark ocean water' strong, wavy and choppy
my rhymes are faster than a computer even if it copies
cuz you're wack, lets get it straight, I rule
thats why you didn't make it into Cisco, you're a fool
cuz you always be comin through with ugly sweaters, change ur dress
man i got more outfits than sources in a mac address
cuz evan, you spit soft, try comin harder
I'll have you're ass directed out faster than a router
cuz im the queen of networking, along with mr. Keifley
While you're just some korean guy whos measly
I like to drink capri sun, and I love to drink ice cream
I should join the Cisco Networking team
Cuz evan, get out my way, you're not in front of me
Cuz I'm in the Cisco Netacad Academy
I'm to smart for you, I'd kill you every week with my tests
But to you I'm probably a more bigger contest
By the way, Evan you got more white hairs on your head them me
Evan yours eyes are small you can't see
Cuz I love to suck d1ck, drink cum and get analed
Evan I'm gonna pour you down the drain like liquid dranal

[Mr Keifle]

You think you're the shit davy but u'r not better than me
I will beat down do hard with my dell PC
I'm the rap master all these other guys are amateurs
I'll choke u with my cables you fucking little turds
I'll stuff you up with RJ-45 jacks
And I'll take a break out back smoking all that crack
I will fill your lunches with some hardcore anthrax
All I have to do is send the lunch lady a fax
You will just watch in terror as the whole school collides
With my power as the techy guy with the school all tied
Tied up in my network i got this school in lock down mode
To get out you will have to use my special code
You don't kno me I'm like a rapper from hell
I will spit these rhymes like HTML
And program you to do whatever I say
Davy i'm not u'r bitch no matter how little i get paid
Now don't try to say that i'm unstable
Cause I'll tie you up with u'r own Cat-5 cables.

Yea bitch, i'm the shiznitt, i bet you guys didn't expect a rap like that from a techy, HAHAHA, BITCHES

[Mr Goodrich]

You fucking weak ass cisco people, you can't rap worth a shit. I'ma show you guys how to really rap you stupid computer geeks- Cuz I'm Mr. Goodrich, a real MC. And for those of you who don't know who I am or what I look like:

There you go, alright now here's my fucking tight ass freestyle you stupid b1tches.

Yo check

Lookin at my pic, you two can tell I'm a pimp
Girls suck my dick, don't you see my limp?
Cuz I pimp all the girls at Ballard High School
At the same time You'll see me makin a woodin stool
Cuz Cisco's a gay class, networking is so gay
NO wonder you two get "little pay"
Cuz you know I'd pass every test in that class
And at the end I'll leave you two in a body cast
Cuz I'll kill you, you guys are round and raw
I'll leave you as round as one of my saws
Then I'll take my broken pen out and stab your eye
And one of my students will take his saw and say "DIE DIE DIE!!!"
Cuz I'm tight, Keithly you ain't no master
you're just some straight gay ugly homosexual bastard

[Mr Broadsack]

you gay ass goodrich and cisco fools, let me drop a little math on your ass. my name is broadsack suckas and i run this mofo.Heres a picture of me for you fools.

And yes, I am looking at you evan. COme here pooh bear.

Lookin at my pic, you noe i come to the mic mean
dont you see that mathematic gangsta lean?
Pay attention bitches, 2 + 2 = 4
You noe you cant handle my flows anymore
My lyrics are savage, you cant come near em
It'll have you shook like the pythagorean theorem
Then i'll spit on you wit my diet free soda
Then i'll throw some quadratic formulas at ya
My rhymes just knocked you back to int. 1
what you gonna do now son
I leave you hangin, my glasses are bangin
Got you runnin, aint it sumthin
My glasses are sexy, come here next to me
i'll take my dick and slide it in your rectomy
Yes, im a homo, your a lamo
I can be your daddy, you can be my mama
lets come together and make a shradha

[Mrs Hackett]

Hello, I'm gonna show you freestylers how it is really done in this rap game. You ugly fuckers, oh yeah and here is my beautiful pretty picture: Don't I just look bomb? Anyway, here we go-

Check it

See, out of all the Ballard staff, you know I'm the best
Like every unit I teach, at the end there's a test
Cuz I know my rhymes are probably makin you sore son
It's like you tryin to learn about World War One
Pythagoreoan, Integrated 1, stop tryin to get the specifics
Cuz I'll fuck you up so bad you'll look like egyptian hieroglyphics
So Brodsack, quit tryin to think that your 'ballin'
Cuz I'll make your ass dumbfounded like Joseph Stalin
cuz im ms hacket, i got some tight wings
I'll bitch slap you so hard you'll look like Martin Luther King
And Goodrich, please bitch you'll never get sex
I got a better chance of hookin up with Malcolm X
By the way, Brodsack is a wangsta askin for change at a phonebooth
While I'm a hero and legend much like Sojourner Truth
RHymes so PHAT, they'd give you a cold sore
Better yet, They'd kill you with no violence like the COLD WAR
So quit your rappin bitches, I'm cookin y'all like bacon
I'm goin down in history like Abraham Lincoln!! woooooo!!

KILLED YOU BITCHES!!!!!! MUAHAHAHA MUAHS*!!

[Method Odoemene]

MUTHA FUCKAAAAAz, this b da head beava up in hea to sho u how it's done. Watch and learn

I'm da head beaver and i'm hear jus for one reason
I'm here to burn u wit my raps until u'r ears are bleedin
I'll kill you with my accent from god knows where
Somewhere in africa i think i shit in my underwear
Goodrich please you as deaf as a raisin
By the way could u help me remodel my basement
2+2 may equeal 4 get u'r ass out the door
I fired your ass we don't need you anymore
I wonder if u can see wut finger i'm holding up
With u'r twelve inch lense bitch it's the one that says fuck
Ms hacket, I'ma let you have it
You're as dumb as the african shit i crapped in my pants
I'm Mr lincoln and i'd like you to know
That Mr lincoln is creepin in through yo back door
Not the gay way that brodsack does with Goodrich
But i'm gonna beat you like an african bitch
Cuz my african self will use my african rhymes
With my african accent bomb you with my african mines
Cuz i love my africa and i'd go back if i could
But britain has taken it from me and my hood
I'm a grangsta this accent is all fake
I'm the guy known in africa for intesified rape
I don't even know where this rap is going
But i'll still win this shit without you knowing
I got a way to go home with the title
You're all fired now i'll go home with a smile ;D

[Mrs Boyer]

Let me show ALL you fools how this is done in the ap way. I'm Mr. Smithizzle and im bouts to drop some bombs. Im gonna teach you gay mcs how i do this.

Yes, I am much sleeping with your husband mrs. hackett.

When i step to the mic my vocabulary is overflowin
its so big like my sideburns its always showin
son your vocab is shit, how old are you eleven?
you aint ready for my shit: "Tonto.....fist fight in Heaven"
Im hella savage dont think you can blow past me
I'll make you write an essay on the "Great Gastby"
My flows are so raw their inedible
Dont even try to digest em or i'll make you read the "Crucible"
Ten page essays is my style
When im done, 9-1-1 is what you'll dial
My hair is greasier than a black gurls weave
Once i unleash my flows you'll want to leave
see that smirk on mah face, you noe you want a taste
Nick is my brother, there is no other
I love his style cant you see
He is the exact same person as me
My rhymes pummel you like a toy
Leave you darker than "BLack Boy"

"KING KONG AINT GOT NOTHING ON ME!!!"

[Mrs Livingston]

I'm so cool, there is no need for an introduction like you guys, I'll just post my beautiful pic up: And now, you die.

Yo check

You silly MC's need to put the keyboard down
Cuz with my style, there is only words, no sound
You must make sure your wrist are right, upright when you sit
I know I'm the reason I got y'all into this 'typing freestyles' shit
Cuz yeah I'm a woman, or in french I'm a La femme
Man I'll have you suckas brainwashed typing 'J,K,L,SEM'
Cuz I know you like my glasses, they raw like sashimi
I typed this freestyle in 10 secs you better believe me
Cuz you know my WPM (WRIMES PER MINUTE) it's really fast
Bitch don't get shook by an old lady wearing a arm cast
Cuz I'll defeat you, you'll be sitting typing everything I say
monday, tuesday, wednesday,thursday,friday,saturday
Then I'll repeat, you'll be wishin you never lost
And I'm sure I've taught you guys whos the boss
BItch I know you like that pretty little smile
I'll make keyboarding class all worth your while
Cuz I got nice tits, they are like 33 D cups
Remember when your in my class, first thing is warmups
so when you hear my rhymes, stick them in ur dome
quit typin so much bitch, your wrists will get Carpal Tunney Syndrome

[Lunch Lady 1]

Yo bitches of the northwest, i'ma rock this house and show u what it's all about.

I don't need a photo intro for u to kno who i am
I'm da one who shit's in u'r food to make it look like spam
That's what u kids get for makin fun of my food
Instead of spittin i am shittin bitch wait till june
Since it'll be the last month i see you
I'll shit and i'll barf even if i get sued
I'll add a lugey as a side dish for you to enjoy
And i'll leave some of my pubes for you to use as a toy
I got a fax from keithly to add some anthrax to u'r meals
But i got a special blend of random crap and pills
A lil bit o this and a lil bit o that
By the end of the year u'd b addicted to my crap
I will cum in u'r food while u'r lookin away
It only takes me seconds to masterbate anyday
Well bon appetite for tomorrow
i will mix up all that shit so good and thorough

[Ms Boyer]

I be the real Mrs. Boyer. And this is my sexy ass pic. Yes, i do give phone sex: 1-800-ms-boyer call me sometime. Im so nasty i'll give you an ear infection.

Im gonna put you in your grave you old bitch.

Check it,

You cant flow mrs livingston
you dont have a chance to win
go home bitch you got the shingles
i'll teach you like i teach billinguals
First I call them a retard
Then i grab their genitals till i get a hard
Cant you see this lump in mah pants, doesnt it show?
Dont tell me ya'll didnt noe
My flows will leave you stupid, sayin 'who dun itts?'
Kick ya in the face leave you lookin like ESL students
Stupid ass lunch lady ya needs to sit down
or i'll take my KBA and stick it up your gown
I eat shit and barf, everyone knoes
Spit it back out as 'sick' flows
cant handle me im the beast from the east
my name is mrs boyer, remember that cuz once im done you'll need a lawyer

[Chris Mabe]

I'm the best musician so i though that i should get in this...

Yo i'm the music foo at this brand new school
Why don't you take my class i'll give u something to do
I masterbate with the flutes before you play em
Even with the clarinet the sax and the stix for the drums
Music turns me on and i get into that mood
That the first person i see is the first one i screw
Music is the base of my soul and i got one thing to say
Come to me with a sound and i'll do u anyday
Cuz i'm a very *friendly* person and i'm horny as fuck
I will waddle and squat i'll do you like a duck
Tootie to da toot toot bingady bam
You motha fuckas really don't kno who I am
I'm the one who writes lyrics for Eminem
I'm the white behind the light I bring the mahem
Then i sued his ass to get some fame
The flutes are waitin they won't fuck themselves
I got to masterbate them and put them back on the shelves.

[Mrs Waterworth]

Hello, and good afternoon.

Check it

I'm the shit, whatchu talkin bout you other teachers
Quit trying to perform y'all should be sittin in the bleachers
Cuz 1 page essays in one week is my style
Write them up, 12 point Times Roman and remember to save your file
Cuz I hate you Mr. Smith, you probably think I'm sexy
But don't be mad just because we had Sherman ALexie
Cuz I give no secrets, I only give clues
Don't make me make your ass read 'Reservation Blues'
Look at my smile, you can tell I like to fuck
I'll throw a 3 leaf clover on you so you can lose with some "luck"
Cuz you know reading without annotating is the only way
No wonder out of all the L.A teachers I get the most pay
You wanna know the real reason, I give ODOEMENE blowjobs
At the same time, so do all my asian FOBS
Which includes a student by the name of Nguyen Tran
I stalk him too, he gets to school by a mini-van
His parents say "HAVE A NICE DAY CU!"
Then he says "I will you stupid jews"
But back to the topic, Waterworth is the best
Every 5 months is when i only give a test
Cuz I'm very easy, thats how students like it
I know you like me Brodsack, wanna smell my armpit?

[Mr martinsen]

aye yo, i roll up in the gold hon-da
all you asian are crap, so just eat some pho'
cuz my computer skill are way out of your level
this rap will stomp on you like to do to the gas pedal
and for all you other teachers out there
i'll eat you up like i do to my lunch pear
cuz i run this school as the cookie man
waterworth, the only way you go sherman is cuz you used your right hand
yes you know wut im talking about you ugly bitch
everyone wants to kill you and throw you in a ditch
my lyrics are so tight, they flow from the dome
so wut if i have a boyfriend and have a pink home!